A Not So Maternal Mom | Fashionably Late


When the 40 week mark hit, I was beyond distraught. I couldn’t sleep the night before and I was so nervous about what the day would bring. I walked into that 40 week appointment (off my medication for over two weeks) and fighting off the anxieties that the doctor would make me wait at least a full NINE days to induce. I sat there waiting for the heartbeat to be read and I cried. “I’ve been in such pain. I’ve been so sick…I don’t want to do this anymore…” I thought as tears strolled down my face. I heard his little heartbeat and I couldn’t help but think that he just didn’t want to meet me. I was heartbroken.

When we spoke to our doctor he said that I was only at a 2-2.5 and suggested that we schedule an induction appointment at 41 weeks, since I’d had NO CONTRACTIONS even to this point. Boden hugged me so tight and we left the office with another appointment.

I went home, completely defeated.

I decided to crawl into bed and just sleep off the rest of the day, completely exhausted. When I woke up from my nap I actually felt relaxed! I decided that if he wasn’t going to come or if he was it was only a week, at most, longer. It hurt, but I knew it would be okay. I went through the rest of the day without a care in the world.




2:00 AM – I throw up in bed. (For the 10,000 time.)

4:00 AM – Man, my stomach hurts!

7:30 AM – Throw up breakfast

7:50 AM – I call the hospital and explain my symptoms.

8:00 AM – I called my Mom and try to describe the weird stomach pain. (Everyone said that when you felt contractions your stomach would tighten. That wasn’t the case for me, it was all pelvic pressure.)

8:30 AM – I call Boden, “Are you ready to be a Daddy?”

9:00 AM – Busan is dropped off with Grandma. We’re admitted and in a room.  I am dilated to a 5 with contractions every 2-3 minutes.

9:30 AM – Boden gives me a blessing of comfort. I felt completely at peace.

9:45 AM – I begin to receive my epidural, as the contractions were lasting about 1-1.5 minutes and really strong.

10:30 AM – I am checked again, dilated to a 7, but the nurse believes she felt something (the cord) and needs to speak to the doctor.

10:45 AM – Doctor arrives and checks things out, doesn’t find the cord but baby’s heartbeat is dropping with every contraction. This isn’t good.

10:50 AM – We rolled me over to my stomach in hopes of avoiding a C-section. 1% of babies have the cord above their head and if the water breaks it can cause many issues for the baby (this SAME thing happened to our friends the Ungers, only her water broke! We’re in a club!), the pressure all going to the cord, they can’t breath or they could lose blood flow.

11:05 AM – We prep for surgery. At this point you would think I would be loosing my mind! Nope. I was so calm and relaxed. The entire staff was calm and I think the only person freaking out was Boden. Once he’d given me that blessing I said I was at peace, I meant it.

11:15 AM – Things are rolling, they throw a sheet over me and keep it high so I can’t see (Boden however is checking out his wife’s insides as the doctor is literally showing him my ovaries…pre-med students) and I can feel tugging but thats its.

11:35 AM – Emerson Marc James Port is brought into the world. We didn’t hear a cry, eventually a little whimper and thats all, we was born perfectly mellow and sweet as can be.

I don’t know how he knew or what made him decided to come, only one day after his due date but I am BEYOND grateful. I proceeded to throw up three more times throughout the day and my stomach currently looks like a mess but this little peacefully pure baby already has our love. We can’t wait to share more stories with you about our adventures with him!





“A Not So Maternal Mom”, I have NEVER been one of those girls who wanted to get married, have babies and be a stay at home mom (Not that there is anything wrong with this) I’ve just never had that, “Mom” thing. That urge or that maternal want, to have kids. I can probably count on one hand how many times people offered me their baby at church and how many times I wanted to hold one on the other. THOUGH I did always want a family, I just knew that it would be hard for me…and what an understatement that was. 


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